Perfect Articulation of the Heart

Sunday, October 24, 2015 I wrote:

God, what’s in Your heart for me?
I wish I could say to You what’s in mine.

In my heart I question my genuineness. I don’t actually know what’s happening in my heart. There’s a language of my heart that cannot be translated into words. And for me, being always so in tune with words and obsessing over articulation, it’s quite uncomfortable!

It’s almost that I, in a panic, try to articulate the movings of my heart so as to prove to myself their genuineness. But in all this, the genuineness is lost!

When will I have this river, whose streams make glad the city of God,¹ that just flows and gushes out of my spirit?! My heart is a deep, deep place that I can only dream to discover. I’ve always been told by guides that my heart has a great depth to it; but when will I be able to travel freely to the deepest depth, and express in a perfectly articulated poem crafted of loving words to my Father God, my Bridegroom Jesus, and my Counselor Holy Spirit what’s really in my heart? I taste glimpses of it in those fiery spirit-led prayers when I ask the Spirit of Truth to pray in me, without premeditating what to speak. These tastes ascertain to me that there’s something beyond.

Tell me what’s in Yours, for I know it will open the sealed doors in my heart and call this river to come gushing out!

Today—Thursday, January 30, 2025 I write:

The journey of nearly 10 years has brought me to this conclusion: The Lord is wondrous even beyond linguistic or artistic expression—beyond any human expression.

He has created you with an infinite abyss, O man—an abyss that takes beyond a lifetime and all eternity to discover and perceive and comprehend and delight in. There are vast areas of my being I have yet to uncover. Every crevice uncovered and brought to light is a source of deep awe and glory at the wondrous mysteries of His creative hands. Never, in a million years, would I have imagined that I would be a vessel in which so many of His abundant and rich mysteries and gifts are deposited. Lord, to further know the deeper layers of how You created me is to look closer and closer in a mirror at Your awesome Person,² full of the infinity of beauty and gifts. You are a creative God, a lovely God, a beautiful God. You never repeat Yourself in a routine manner—no, every creation of Yours, every doing of Your hands is totally and utterly unique, and contains the fullness of beauty and perfection. The greatest of all such things is Your creation of man’s innermost being.

I attest, O God, to the streams of Your Spirit that flow inside me and out of me, that give life to the city of my spirit. You have breathed Your utterances in the very depths of my being, and these words are the very ones I delight in offering to You; they are the very words that satiate my hunger to express my entirety to You. Yes, and there also exist utterances of Yours that resound in my depths which are wordless—too deep to be expressed in mere human language. They are the very movements of a being that pulsates with love and adoration to You, O Master. The more I discover You through myself, the more I love You; the more I love You, the more I thirst to love You more. How can I thank You, O my marvelous God, for such a mystical experience?! How can I thank You for taking me on this everlasting journey of love and adoration to You and through You and for You?!

In truth, immense gratitude and indebtedness are due to my spiritual fathers and mothers who have led me (and continue to lead me) in this journey to further uncover and discover the precise image in which I was fashioned when I was but merely a thought in the eternal mind of the Almighty God. It is by this that I am able to offer these humble expressions of Myrtle & Oil.

With love and gratitude, I dedicate this first post of Liquid Myrrh to them.

1. Psalm 46:4 ↩︎
2. 2 Corinthians 3:18 ↩︎